Unsure Feelings
by RurouniGirl
Summary: Aya is confused by all the emotions he's feeling. Ken is confused by the way he feels about Aya. Omi has been kidnapped. What will happen. Yaoi. KenxAya, SchuldichxFarfarello, NagixOmi. rr. Finally Complete. Chapter 8 (final chapter, yay!) is up!
1. Omi's Kidnapping

A/N- This story takes place after the series. I don't know what all the pairings will be, but there's a definite AyaxKen and a possible OmixYohji or maybe OmixNagi. I don't know. But since this takes place after the series, Schwartz is no longer the enemy, so I can do whatever pairing I want.  
  
Disclaimer: Oh, yeah. I don't own the Weiss or Scwartz boys. As much as I wish I did, I don't, so don't sue me. I merely use the characters for my own entertainment.  
  
  
  
Unsure Feelings  
  
by: RurouniGirl  
  
  
Ken sat starring out the window. 'He really should try to get some sleep, but he couldn't.' He whirled around and punched his fist through the wall. 'How could he have let this happen? How? He should have been able to stop it, but he couldn't. HOW COULD HE LET THIS HAPPEN?' A tear slid down his cheek. He wiped at it angrily.   
  
There was a soft knock at his door. "Go away," he said. The door opened slowly. "I said go away." He turned around angrily. Aya stood in the doorway.   
  
"You can't torture yourself over this."   
  
Ken turned away. "Go away. I don't want to talk about it."   
  
He heard the door close. Another tear ran down his cheek. This time he didn't stop them. He let them flow down his cheeks. He was startled when he felt an arm slip around his shoulder. He turned his face away, trying to hide his tears from Aya.   
  
"You have to stop blaming yourself," Aya said quietly.   
  
Ken stood there quietly. "I should have been able to stop it. I never should have let it happen."   
  
"It wasn't your fault. You can't blame yourself for what happened to Omi."   
  
"But I should have been able to do something."   
  
Aya sighed. "It wasn't your fault. We'll look for Omi in the morning. For now, you should get some sleep. You won't be able to find Omi if you're too tired."   
  
Ken nodded. 'Aya was right. He had to get some rest.' He lay down on the bed and starred up at the ceiling.   
  
~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
Ken and Omi were surrounded by a dozen or so men. This was an unexpected development. Ken and Omi were back to back, waiting for any of the men to make a move. A man lunged at Ken. He dodged and sent his fist flying into the guys jaw. He fell to the ground.   
  
'One down, eleven to go.'   
  
Suddenly all of the men moved in. The two assassins sprang into action. There were only three men remaining. One of them lunged at Ken; the other two lunged at Omi. Omi screamed in pain as one of the men pulled out a knife, slicing his side.   
  
"Omi!" Ken tried to get to him, but the man he was fighting came at him relentlessly. The two men carried Omi off. Ken slashed at the man, the claws he wore tore open his throat. He ran after the other men, but it was too late. He had no clue where they had gone.   
  
"Omiiiiii!"   
  
Ken sat up. His breath came in ragged gasps. It was a dream. Just a dream. He starred out the window and a sigh escaped his lips.   
  
"I have to find Omi. I have to."  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
Aya sat in the kitchen. He was just as worried about Omi as everyone else. 'God, why did this have to happen? Why to Omi? Why to Ken? Why to him? Why to anyone?'   
  
He leaned back in his chair. He felt helpless. In this situation he wasn't much help. He hadn't even been able to comfort Ken.   
  
He looked up as someone entered the room. It was Yohji. He sat in the chair across from Aya.   
  
"You should get some sleep," he said.   
  
Aya sighed. "I can't sleep."   
  
Yohji raised an eyebrow in surprise. "Why not?"   
  
Aya gave him a hard look. "Omi's been captured, he's injured, and God knows what else, and you expect me to sleep."   
  
Yohji drew back. "Sorry. I guess we're all a little edgy since Omi was captured."   
  
Aya sighed. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have snapped like that. I'm just a little worried, that's all."   
  
"Yeah, we're all worried."   
  
Aya stood up and turned to leave. He could see how upset Yohji was. They were all upset. Omi was the heart of the group. He was everyone's little brother. He placed his hand comfortingly on Yohji's shoulder.   
  
"Don't worry. Omi will be fine," he said, hoping it would calm Yohji down a little.   
  
Yohji sighed, then turned toward Aya and smiled. "Thanks, Aya."   
  
Aya nodded, then turned and left the room.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
Aya lay on his bed. 'Why did this have to happen?' He felt so helpless. He hadn't even been able to comfort the one he loved when he needed it.   
  
He rolled out of bed and went out onto the balcony. He sighed and for the first time since he could remember, he allowed a tear to slip down his cheek. He slumped down against the wall, a sigh escaping his lips. He couldn't take it anymore. Tears streamed down his face. His shoulders shook with each sob. He shivered slightly, but didn't move.   
  
"Aya?"   
  
He looked up to see Ken staring down at him worriedly. He hurriedly wiped away the tears with his sleeve. Ken slid down next to him and placed an arm around his shoulder.   
  
"It's alright. Cry. Let it all out. You'll feel better if you do."   
  
Aya heard the softness in Ken's voice and wondered about it. 'Did Ken care for him the way he cared for Ken? No. That would be impossible. He was always so distant and cold. He doubted that anyone could ever care for him.'   
  
Ken saw the unshed tears in Aya's eyes. It was a little unnerving. He had never seen the boy cry before. Finally Aya gave in and let the tears fall. Ken sat there with his arm around Aya's shoulder, hoping he was doing something to help the other boy. He knew that Aya only acted cold and distant because he didn't want to get close to anyone. He knew that all Aya needed was someone who understood him. Understood the way he felt and why he acted the way he did. He whispered what he hoped were comforting words.   
  
"It's alright. It's going to be just fine. We'll find Omi and he'll be fine."   
  
Finally, Aya stopped crying. He sat there for a few moments before speaking.   
  
"Ken, why are you being so nice to me when all I've been to any of you is distant and cold?"   
  
Ken smiled. "Because, I care about you."   
  
Aya was shocked.   
  
"Aya, I know that you act distant and cold because you don't want to get close to anyone," Ken continued. "If you get close to anyway, you're afraid that they'll end up getting hurt or you'll end up getting hurt. But I know that deep down inside all you want is someone who understands the way you feel. Well, Aya. I understand how you feel and I care."   
  
Aya couldn't believe it. Ken actually cared. Someone actually cared about him. Slowly, a small smile appeared on his face.   
  
"Thanks, Ken."   
  
"Any time. And if you ever need to talk, I'm here."  
  
  
  
Author's Notes: Okay, what did you think? Bad? Good? Please review and let me know. RurouniGirl 


	2. The Rescue

A/N- Okay, this chapter is mostly about Omi. Hope you enjoy. Oh, yeah. Schwartz is in this chapter. (Woohoo) Oh, I've decided this will be an OmixNagi pairing. Thank you, Yanagi-sen, for helping me decide.   
  
"..." - denotes speech  
'...' - denotes thought  
  
  
Unsure Feelings: Chapter 2  
  
By: RurouniGirl  
  
  
Omi groaned as he slowly regained consciousness. He opened his eyes and looked around, trying to figure out where he was. He was in a dark room, lit by a single light bulb hanging from the ceiling. The only furniture in the room was the chair he was tied to.   
  
He shifted slightly and hissed at the sharp pain in his side.   
  
"So, you finally woke up," a voice said.   
  
Omi looked up as two men entered the room. The man who had spoken before walked toward him.   
  
"The boss wasn't too happy that you and that friend of yours tried to kill him."   
  
Omi didn't say anything.   
  
"The boss wants to know why you wanted to kill him."   
  
Again, Omi remained silent.   
  
The man slapped him across the face. "Why?" he shouted.   
  
"Because what he's doing is wrong," Omi replied.   
  
"And what exactly is he doing that's so wrong?"   
  
Omi didn't look up as he replied, "Selling experimental drugs to kids. Hundreds of kids have died because of it."   
  
The man smiled maliciously and motioned for the second man to untie Omi.   
  
"The boss gave us orders to make sure you don't talk."   
  
As he approached him, Omi had a sinking feeling in his gut. As the man proceeded to beat Omi, he called out with his mind, mentally screaming for help.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
The two men stopped mid-punch and turned around as the door burst opened.   
  
"What the hell?"   
  
They were cut off as an invisible hand pushed them away. Schuldich left the two men to Nagi as he went and knelt down next to Omi.   
  
"Hey, are you okay?"   
  
Omi opened his eyes and looked up at Schuldich, fear visible in his eyes. Schuldich smiled, trying to reassure Omi.   
  
"Don't worry. I'm not going to hurt you. I'm here to help."   
  
Omi didn't know why the ex-members of Schwartz were helping him, but he was glad they were. He tried to say something, but found he was unable to use his voice. So he thought what he wanted to say instead.   
  
'I can't stand.'   
  
Schuldich nodded. 'I'll carry you.'   
  
Carefully, he lifted Omi's limp form and carried him from the building. Nagi came out a few moments later. He looked at Schuldich.   
  
"I'll go get my car," Schuldich said. "You stay here with Omi. Let me know if something's wrong."   
  
Nagi nodded, and sat down next to where Schu had put Omi down. He looked down at the youngest member of Weiß. Ever since the first time Schwartz had gone up against Weiß, Nagi had always felt strange whenever he saw Omi. 'But what was this strange feeling?'   
  
The honking of the car horn interrupted his thoughts. Using his powers, Nagi lifted Omi off the ground and gently laid him in the back seat. He climbed in next to Schuldich.   
  
"Do you think he'll be okay?" he asked.   
  
Schuldich shrugged. "I don't know."  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
Crawford sat at his computer typing when he was interrupted by Shculdich.   
  
'What is it, Schu? I'm very busy.'   
  
He could hear Schu's laughter echoing through his mind. 'You're always busy, Bradley.'   
  
Brad scowled. 'Don't call me Bradley.'   
  
Schu laughed again.   
  
'What is it, Schu?'   
  
Schuldich immediately sobered. 'We have a little emergency.'   
  
'What kind of emergency?' Brad asked.   
  
'Bombay. He's injured.'   
  
That startled Brad. 'How bad is he injured?'   
  
'We're not sure. He looks pretty bad, though.'   
  
'Get him here as fast as you can,' Brad instructed.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
Brad had called in a doctor friend of his and he had cleaned, stitched, and bandaged Omi. Nagi, Schuldich, and Brad were waiting outside the room as the doctor came out.   
  
"How is he?" Nagi asked.   
  
The doctor smiled. "With a few days of rest and this medicine, he should be fine," he said, handing a prescription to Crawford.   
  
Brad nodded. "Thank you." He walked the doctor to the door.   
  
Nagi stood where he was. 'Omi's gonna be okay.'   
  
Schuldich sighed in relief. Then he sucked in his breath.   
  
Nagi turned toward him. "What's wrong?"   
  
Schuldich looked considerably paler as he replied. "Someone's gonna have to tell the rest of Weiß where Omi is. There probably worried sick about him."   
  
"That's a good idea," Brad said, grinning. "Thanks for volunteering, Schu."   
  
The German groaned. 'How did he always get stuck with these things?'  
  
  
  
Author's Notes: So, what do you think? Let me know. Please review. Remember, I like reviews. ^_~ RurouniGirl 


	3. Surprise!

A/N- okay, here's the third chapter. Hope you enjoy. Some of the characters may be OOC. (Farfarello's in this chapter! ^_~)  
  
  
Unsure Feelings: Chapter 3  
  
By: RurouniGirl  
  
"..." is talking  
'...' is thinking  
  
  
  
Ken sighed as he flopped onto the couch. They had searched all day, but hadn't found a trace of Omi.   
  
'Where could he be?'   
  
He closed his eyes and leaned back. He jumped as he felt a hand rest on his shoulder. He didn't need to look up to know that it was Aya.   
  
"Don't worry," Aya said. "We'll find him."   
  
Ken was about to reply when the doorbell rang.   
  
"Who would come this late at night?" he muttered as he got up to answer the door, Aya close behind him. He was shocked at what he saw as he opened the door. Schuldich stood outside looking extremely uncomfortable. The two Weiß members starred at the orange-haired German. Finally, Aya spoke.   
  
"What are you doing here?"   
  
Schuldich gulped. "I came to tell you that Omi is safe."   
  
Ken gasped. "He's safe? How do you know that?"   
  
Schuldich grinned. "Because Nagi and I were the one's that found him. He was in pretty bad shape."   
  
Ken looked at Aya and Schuldich chuckled as he heard their thoughts. "No, we didn't hurt Omi. We rescued him and got him medical help. The doctor says he'll be fine with rest and medicine."   
  
The two boys let out sighs of relief. Aya eyed Schuldich curiously. "Why are you helping us? I thought we were enemies."   
  
Schu shrugged. "We did what our employers told us to do. Now that we are on our own, there is no reason we should be enemies."   
  
Aya didn't look convinced, but Ken looked at him pleadingly. "We have to make sure he's okay," he told the redhead.   
  
Aya gave in. "All right. But watch your back. I'm still not sure if I trust these guys."  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
Omi moaned softly and stirred in his sleep. Slowly, he opened his eyes. He looked around, taking in his surroundings. He was surprised to see Nagi sleeping in the chair next to the bed he was in.   
  
Omi smiled. He looked so angelic when he was asleep. And the sun shining through the window made it appear as if a glowing light surrounded the dark-haired youth. Omi reached up and gently brushed away a stray piece of hair that had fallen forward. Nagi stirred and opened his eyes. He smiled softly.   
  
"You're awake," he exclaimed. "How do you feel?"   
  
Omi grinned. "Never...been...better." It was still difficult to speak and it hurt. His voice sounded low and hoarse.   
  
Nagi put a hand on his shoulder. "Your voice will return soon. For now, try not to speak. Schuldich went to let your friends know you're okay. When he gets back he'll talk for you. Just think what you want to say."   
  
Omi nodded and hoped that the other members of Weiß hadn't killed Schuldich when they saw him. He shifted slightly and cried out at the sharp pain in his side. Nagi looked down at him, concern etched on his face.   
  
"You all right?" he asked.   
  
Omi nodded. "Yeah," he said hoarsely, trying to push the pain away. It wasn't working.   
  
Nagi could see the pain in Omi's eyes. He lifted Omi's shirt and cursed. Blood covered the white bandage around his side.   
  
"Hold on. I'll clean the wound and rebandage it."   
  
Omi submitted to Nagi's ministrations. The other boy's touch was gentle. He liked it. He watched as Nagi finished wrapping a new bandage on his side, then sighed and leaned back against the pillows. As he lay there, he found himself wondering why the two members of Schwartz had rescued him.   
  
His eyes snapped open as he heard laughing, but no one but Nagi was in the room.   
  
'We saved you 'cause I like you kid.' Schuldich's voice echoed through his mind as the door opened. A very worried Ken and Aya stood in the doorway.   
  
Omi smiled weakly at them. "Hey... guys," he said hoarsely.   
  
Ken walked over and stood next to the bed. "Hey, how ya feeling?"   
  
"Never been...better," he said, wincing at the pain when he spoke.   
  
Nagi laid a hand on his shoulder. "Hey, remember what the doctor said. Try not to talk. Let Schu talk for you."   
  
Omi smiled at the concerned Nagi and looked over at Schuldich.   
  
Schu nodded. "Talk away, kid."   
  
Omi grinned. 'I'm glad to see you're still alive. I was afraid Ken and Aya would kill you when they saw you.'   
  
Schu chuckled. 'They wanted to.'   
  
They all jumped as they heard the front door close. Schu looked at Nagi. "Farf must be back," he said, right before the Irishman walked into the room. He handed a small bag to Nagi.   
  
"Here's the prescription."   
  
Nagi took it and thanked him. Farfarello nodded and tuned to leave. He eyed the other two Weiß members calmly, and much saner than they had ever seen him, as he exited the room. Aya noticed the difference and it was unnerving. A sane Farfarello was much more intimidating than an insane Farfarello.   
  
Schuldich noticed the change of mood and laughed quietly. "He decided that it would be better for him to take medicine. Less dangerous, anyway."   
  
Nagi nodded. "If you ask me, he was probably the sanest of all of us. He was just so sane, it drove him crazy."(1)   
  
Schu shrugged.   
  
Ken sighed and turned back to Omi. He smiled at the sight before him. During the time they had been distracted, Omi had fallen asleep, a smile on his face. Ken pulled the covers up, covering him completely, and turned to leave.   
  
"Come on, Aya. We'd better get back. Yohji will be worried and we should let him know that Omi's okay."   
  
Aya nodded his agreement. Yohji was just as worried about Omi and he needed to know the kid was all right. The only problem was telling Yohji who had rescued Omi and where he was. Yohji was going to flip when he heard that Omi was with Schwartz.   
  
Aya sighed. He was not looking forward to this.  
  
  
(1) My sister came up with this idea when she was listening to BNL's song Falling for the First Time. "I'm so sane it's driving me crazy." Anywayz, I thought she was right. This line fits Farf perfectly.  
  
Author's Notes: what do you think? Good? Stupid? Should I continue? Please let me know. 


	4. Something's Wrong

A/N- An extremely pissed off Yohji. Need I say more? ^_~  
  
  
  
Unsure Feelings : Chapter 4  
  
By: RurouniGirl  
  
  
  
"He's where?!"  
  
"Now, Yohji-kun. Just calm down." Ken said. "It's not as bad as it seems."  
  
Yohji looked at him incredulously. "Not as bad as it seems. Omi is with Schwartz, the enemy, and you're trying to tell me that it's not as bad as it seems. Yeah right."  
  
Aya shook his head as he watched the two bickering back and forth. It was finally too much for him.   
  
"Both of you just shut up!"  
  
The other two members of Weiß stopped what they were doing and starred at Aya. Ken's eyes widened and Yohji's mouth hung open. Neither of them could believe it. Aya had actually raised his voice. Cool, calm, confident Aya had yelled, no, he had screamed at them.   
  
Aya sighed. "Look, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to yell, but your bickering was really getting to me." He smiled weakly at Ken and turned toward Yohji. "Look, I know you don't trust Schwartz. Neither do I. But it's best if Omi just stays where he is right now."  
  
Yohji starred at Aya, wide-eyed. "What? But..."  
  
"No buts." Aya interrupted. "Omi is in pretty bad condition. It would only make it worse if we moved him now."  
  
Ken nodded and spoke up. "Besides, if Schwartz really wanted to hurt Omi, why did they bother rescuing him? And if they really wanted to get rid of him, they could have done it before now. I mean, they got him medical help as soon as possible. Why would they do that if they were going to kill him?"   
  
Yohji sighed. They both made a good point, but he didn't trust Schwartz. They had been the enemy. They had tried to kill the Weiß members. He sighed again.  
  
"Fine. But I want to go see him and make sure he's okay."  
  
Ken looked at Aya, relief etched on his face. Aya nodded. "We'll take you to see him in the morning. Now, I think all of us should try to get some sleep."  
  
Ken nodded his agreement and Yohji yawned loudly as he headed for his bedroom.  
  
As soon as Yohji had entered his room and closed the door Ken plopped down on the couch with another sigh. Aya sat next to him and draped an arm over his shoulders. Ken smiled at him.  
  
"Well, that went well."  
  
Aya grinned and shook his head. "Well, it went better than I expected."   
  
Ken looked up at Aya. The older boy looked tired. Ken gave Aya a kiss on the cheek.  
"You should get some rest."  
  
Aya nodded. "I know."  
  
Aya didn't move. Ken shook his head.   
  
"Aya, you're not moving."  
  
Aya sighed and smiled weakly. "I can't seem to find the strength to move," he replied.  
  
Ken walked over and pushed Aya down. "Then sleep on the couch. You need to sleep."  
  
He got up and returned a moment later with a blanket. He covered Aya with it and turned to leave, but Aya caught his wrist. He looked down at the other boy.  
  
Aya smiled and pulled him down onto the couch. He lifted the blanket up and wrapped part of it around Ken.  
  
"Sleep here with me?"   
  
Ken smiled and snuggled down next to Aya. The last thing he remembered was Aya's arm wrapped around his waist, then he fell asleep.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
Ken stirred and slowly opened his eyes.   
  
"Sleep well?"  
  
Ken smiled and looked up at Aya. "Extremely well."  
  
Aya smiled and leaned down, giving him a quick kiss.   
  
"Good."   
  
He stretched leisurely. "Do you want to try waking Yohji up, or should I?"  
  
Ken laughed. "I'll go. I have more experience."  
  
He stood up and walked down the hall to Yohji's room.  
  
"Yohji, you awake in there?"  
  
He was met with silence. He pushed the door open and approached the bed.  
  
"Hey, Yohji! Wake up!"  
  
No response. Ken sighed. He hated this. He picked up the clock, setting the alarm and turned it on. The clock began to beep loudly. When Yohji didn't respond, Ken placed the clock next to his ear.   
  
Yohji woke up with a yelp. "Ken, what are you trying to do? Give me a heart attack or something?"  
  
Ken laughed. "Trying to wake you up. And I succeeded."  
  
Yohji glared at him. "Did you have to put that thing right next to my ear? I'm probably going deaf because of it."  
  
Ken grinned. "It's the only thing that wakes you up." he retorted. "Now, get up. We'll take you to see Omi as soon as you're ready."  
  
Yohji stretched and yawned before getting out of bed and getting ready.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
Schuldich grinned cheerfully as he answered the door. Aya, Ken, and Yohji stood outside.   
  
"Come on in," he said, holding the door open.  
  
The three members of Weiß entered the apartment and Schuldich led them to the room Omi was in. Omi looked up as they entered the room.  
  
"Hey, guys," he said hoarsely, grinning cheerfully.  
  
Ken smiled back. "Hey, kid. We brought you company."  
  
Omi smiled. "Hi, Yohji-kun."  
  
Yohji grinned. "Hey, Omi. How you feeling?"  
  
"Okay, I guess," he replied wincing a little at the pain in his throat.  
  
Yohji nodded. "Good."  
  
Schuldich moved forward. "Hey, kid. Remember what the doc said. No talking if it isn't necessary."  
  
Omi nodded and began to think. 'Yohji doesn't look too comfortable. I'm surprised he actually came.'  
  
Schu grinned at him. 'Well, he didn't want to come. But, he was worried about you and wanted to make sure you were okay in person. He doesn't trust us.'  
  
'Ask Yohji what I've missed since I've been gone.'  
  
Schu repeated the question and Yohji was about to answer when the door opened and Nagi stepped in. Omi smiled at him.  
  
"Hey, Nagi."  
  
Nagi returned the smile. "Hey, Omi. How're you feeling today?"   
  
"Okay," he said.  
  
Nagi nodded and turned to Schuldich. "Schu, do you know where Farf is?"  
  
Schuldich shook his head. "No, I haven't seen him. Is something wrong?"  
  
"No. He was going to help me with my math homework, that's all."  
  
Schuldich looked at him skeptically. "You sure," he asked, a hint of concern in his voice.  
  
Nagi nodded. "Yeah," he said, but it wasn't too convincing. "Well, I have to get going," Nagi said before Schu could say anything else. He hurriedly left the room, closing the door behind him.  
  
Schuldich turned toward Omi. "Is it just me, or has he been acting a little strange lately? Kind of...upset?"  
  
Omi nodded. 'Yeah. It hasn't been real noticeable. Until now, that is.'  
  
Schu bit his lip then looked over at Omi and the other Weiß members. "I'm gonna go see if he's okay."  
  
Omi nodded. 'Go ahead. Let me know if he's okay.'  
  
Schuldich nodded and hurried out of the room to find Nagi. Omi looked at the others and grinned.  
  
"So what have I missed?" he asked.   
  
  
  
  
Author's Notes: Well, what did you think? Review. Oh yeah, I'm working on the next chapter now, so hopefully it will be finished soon. RurouniGirl  



	5. Nagi's Past

A/N- Here's the next part. It's about Nagi. Enjoy.  
  
  
~~~~~~~~~~ : denotes a flashback or memory  
  
Unsure Feelings : Chapter 5  
  
By: RurouniGirl  
  
  
  
Nagi sighed as he sat down on his bed. He didn't like lying to Schuldich, but he didn't want Schu to know. Farfarello was the only one who would understand.   
  
He jumped as someone knocked on the door. "Go away, Schu," he called.   
  
Silence, then the door opened and Schuldich stepped in. "Nope, you're not getting rid of me that easily." He sat down on the edge of the bed. "What's wrong, Nagi?"  
  
Nagi smiled. "Nothing, Schu. I'm fine."  
  
Schu shook his head. "No, Nagi. You're not. Why won't you tell me what's wrong?"  
  
Nagi stared down at the floor. "I...I can't." he whispered. He looked up at Schuldich, unshed tears in his eyes.  
  
Schu looked at Nagi, worry visible in his green eyes. "Why can't you tell me?"   
  
Nagi gulped. "Because...because, you wouldn't understand." He wanted to tell Schu. He really did, but he couldn't. Nobody but Farf would understand. "I'm sorry, Schu. I...I can't."  
  
Schuldich looked at him for a moment, searching, then nodded and stood up. "Okay, kid. I won't push it. But, you know you can always talk to me. Whenever you're ready, I'm there. Got it?"  
  
Nagi nodded. "Yeah," he replied. "Schu," he called as the German was leaving the room.   
  
Schuldich turned toward him. Nagi smiled. "Thanks."  
  
The German smiled at him and left the room, closing the door behind him. Nagi sighed and lay back on his bed, waiting for Farfarello to get back.  
  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
  
Nagi had fallen asleep as he waited for Farf and was now tossing and turning. He moaned and muttered something inaudible. He continued to toss and turn as his nightmare continued.   
  
All of a sudden he cried out and sat up, gasping for breath. He put his head in his hands trying to push the memories away. But it didn't work and the memories kept pushing their way back into his mind, haunting him.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Nagi had only been thirteen year old when he had been brought into Schwartz. Being with Schwartz was the happiest time in his life. But before Schwartz, he had the worst memories of all.  
Nagi had been kicked out by his parents when they had discovered he had special powers. He was forced to live on the streets and fend for himself.   
  
But he was still young and was small for his age. And even with his powers it was almost impossible to fend off any grown men because he hadn't learned how to control and use his powers properly. These are the memories that haunted him.   
  
He had been trying to get money for food. He hadn't eaten in three days. He cut through an alley, hoping to find someone who would be willing to give him a few dollars on the next street, but he never made it to the next street.   
  
A large man stopped him. Nagi had tried to fight back, but he hadn't been able to do much. He was taken to an estate where a very rich man lived. There, he was forced to submit to the man. To do everything the man wanted. Which, of course, were sexual actions.   
  
He remembered dreading nighttime, and after his master had finished with him, he would quietly creep away and cry.   
  
After a while, his powers matured, and he was able to control them and use them more freely. He managed to escape and that's when Farf had found him. He was in a bad way, mentally and physically.   
  
When Farfarello had found him, he was half naked, fresh blood running down his thighs, and cuts and bruises all over his body from where his master had hit him.  
  
Farf had cleaned him up and then brought him to the other Schwartz members. He had been a member ever since that day.   
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Farf was the only one that knew. The only one that knew his secret. Knew what had happened to him. And now it had come back to haunt him once again. Now that he had found someone to love, his past was back to haunt him.  
  
He loved Omi. He always had. He just hadn't realized it until now. But, if Omi knew the truth about him, about what he was, what he had been forced to do, he would look at Nagi differently. He would be disgusted and would probably hate Nagi. And Nagi couldn't stand the thought of the one person he loved hating him.   
  
He jumped as the door was flung open and then shut again. Farf stood looking at Nagi, concern on his face.   
  
"What is it?" he asked. "More nightmares?"  
  
Nagi angrily brushed a tear away and nodded. "It was happening all over again," he said, his voice cracking and tears pouring freely down his cheeks.  
  
Farf hurried forward and wrapped his arms around Nagi. "It's all right," he said quietly. "It's over now. He can't hurt you any more."  
  
Nagi tried to control his sobs, but couldn't. He finally managed to stop and sob out, "But he can," he told Farf. "He still does. These nightmares, these memories. All of it. They are caused by him." He turned away and continued. "He caused all this pain. He did. And now I can't love because of it."  
  
Farf looked at Nagi, confusion written on his face. "What do you mean you can't love? Of course you can."  
  
Nagi shook his head. "No Farf. You don't understand. I know that I can love. But no one can ever love me. How could they? How could anyone love someone like me?"  
  
Farf grabbed Nagi by the shoulders and shook him. Shook him hard. "You listen to me, Nagi. What he did to you was unforgivable. But, you can't let that control you. It's in the past. You have to let it go and move on."  
  
Nagi knew that Farfarello was right, but he was still afraid. Afraid of what Omi would think if he knew the truth. He lifted his eyes to look at Farf and was surprised to see tears in the Irishman's eyes.  
  
"It hurts me to see you like this, Nagi. I know you love him. And he loves you. You can see it when ever he looks at you."  
  
Nagi looked up, fresh tears in his eyes. "But I'm scared," he said. "What if he hates me after he finds out."  
  
Farf pulled Nagi into his arms and held him tight. "He won't," he said. "And if he does, then he doesn't deserve you. You deserve better than that."  
  
Nagi looked up at Farf's face and smiled, wiping his tears away. He reached up and brushed away Farfarello's tears.   
  
"Thank you," he whispered.  
  
Farf smiled and placed his arm around Nagi's shoulders. "No prob kid. That's what I'm here for."  
  
Nagi smiled. It was nice to have people who cared about him. People who worried about and looked out for him. They were his friends. And most importantly, his family.  
  
  
  
  
Author's Notes: Okay, first off, this is not what really happened to Nagi. I don't know what Nagi's past is, but this is just a made up account of what happened. It's completely fictitious, used for this story alone. Now that that's clear, what did you think? Please review. RurouniGirl 


	6. Nagi's Confession

A/N- I finally finished the next chapter. Hope you like it.  
  
Unsure Feelings: Chapter 6  
  
By: RurouniGirl  
  
  
  
Nagi took a deep breath before entering Omi's room. The blonde looked much better. All of the bruises were gone, the cuts all healed, and his throat was almost back to normal. The only thing that still remained was the long gash in his side.  
  
Omi smiled pleasantly as he looked up from the book he was reading. "Hey, Nagi," he greeted cheerfully.  
  
Nagi smiled. "Hey," he said. "You look much better."  
  
Omi nodded his agreement. "Yep, and I feel much better to," he replied.  
  
Nagi smiled and nodded as he changed the bandage on the side wound. When he was finished, he turned to leave, but then stopped. He turned back to Omi, looking as though he wanted to say something. He stood there for a minute just staring before turning and leaving the room.  
  
Omi watched him leave, a puzzled expression on his face. 'What had Nagi wanted to say?' he wondered.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
Nagi stood outside the door. 'Why hadn't he told Omi? Why? He had come so close and then he just backed away.'  
  
He sighed as he headed toward the kitchen. Farf looked up as Nagi came in and shook his head. "You didn't tell him?" He said more as a statement than a question.  
  
Nagi shook his head as he plopped into a chair. "No," he said. "I came so close to telling him, but then I just backed out of it."  
  
Farf smiled and gave Nagi's shoulder a comforting squeeze. "It's all right to be scared, Nagi. It's natural. We're all afraid of being rejected, but that's the worst that will happen. He'll say no and it will be the same as it is now."  
  
Nagi sighed. "I know," he said.  
  
Farf smiled kindly. "Don't worry about it, kid. When the time's right you will be able to do what you want."  
  
"What will Nagi be able to do?" Schuldich said cheerfully as he entered the kitchen and got a soda from the fridge.  
  
"Nothing important," Farf said, grinning at up at the German man. Farf's grin was infectious and Nagi found himself grinning along with Farf.  
  
Schu looked at the two grinning like idiots and a look of suspicion crossed his face. "Okay, what are the two of you up to?"  
  
Nagi shook his head. "Nothing."  
  
Schu narrowed his eyes as he looked at Nagi then shrugged. "Okay, whatever you say. I'm going out for a while. I should be back in time for dinner."  
  
"Okay," Nagi said. "Have fun."  
  
Schu laughed and ruffled Nagi's hair affectionately as he left the room. Nagi grinned and turned back to Farf, smiling brightly.  
  
"I think I'm going to talk to Omi," he said.  
  
Farf smiled. "Good luck, kid."  
  
Nagi smiled. "Thanks, Farf. For everything."  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
Omi looked up as the door to his room slowly swung open and Nagi once again entered the room. He smiled and motioned for Nagi to come over and sit on the edge of the bed.  
  
Nagi closed the door and slowly crossed over to the bed. He sat down and then stood up and began to pace. Thoughts ran through his head. 'What would Omi say? How would he react?' He gave a start as Omi grabbed his wrist and pulled him down.  
  
"Sit down, Nagi. You're gonna wear a hole in the floor."  
  
Nagi smiled apologetically. "Sorry, I'm guess I'm just a little nervous."  
  
Omi looked a little surprised. "Nervous? Why should you be nervous?"  
  
Nagi gulped and took a deep breath. "Omi, I have to tell you something," he said. "This is hard for me, but it's something I have to do."  
  
He looked up and the encouragement he saw shining in Omi's eyes was enough to make him continue. "I...I love you Omi. I always have."   
  
He looked over and was surprised at what he saw. Omi was beaming and a tear was sliding down his cheek. Nagi reached up cautiously and wiped it away. Omi smiled as he caught Nagi's hand in his and stroked it loving.  
  
"You don't know how much I was hoping you would say that," he said. "I've wanted to tell you how I felt for the longest time, but I didn't know how you felt, so I waited." He looked up into Nagi's surprised but happy face and smiled.   
  
"You...you really love me?" he asked.   
  
Omi nodded. "Yes I really love you," he said, laughing.  
  
Nagi beamed, but then his smile turned into a frown. 'He still had to tell Omi about his past. What if Omi hated him after he found out what he had been?' He was torn between telling Omi and possibly ruining their relationship or not telling Omi. As he stood there debating, Farf's words echoed through his mind. "If he does hate you then he doesn't deserve you. You deserve better than that." He made up his mind. He had to tell Omi.  
  
"There's something else I have to tell you," Nagi said, his voice quivering. "Something about my past."  
  
Omi nodded in encouragement and Nagi proceeded to tell him about his past. About what he had been forced to do before Farfarello had rescued him. As he finished his story he expected Omi to be disgusted but, to his surprise, Omi had tears streaming down his cheeks. He wrapped his arms around Nagi and pulled him close.  
  
"I can't believe that happened to you," he said. "You don't deserve this."  
  
Nagi lifted his tearstained face and looked up at Omi. "Then, you don't hate me?"  
  
Omi was surprised. "Why would I hate you? No, I'm angry with that man for doing what he did to you. You don't deserve it."  
  
Nagi wiped his tears away and tried to smile. "That's all in my past now. I'm not going to live in my past anymore. Now, I'm looking toward the future."  
  
He smiled and Omi smiled back leaning in and giving Nagi the first real kiss he'd ever head in his life.  
  
  
  
  
Author's Notes: So, what do you think? Lame? Not lame? Please review and let me know. RurouniGirl 


	7. Schuldich's Mask

A/N- Okay, this chapter is mostly bout Schuldich. And the plot thickens *evil chuckle* Hope you like it.  
  
Unsure Feelings: Chapter 7  
  
By: RurouniGirl  
  
  
Nagi burst into Farf's room grinning like a fool as he plopped down onto the Irishman's bed. Farf sat up, stretching his arms above his head, and yawned.   
  
"What are you so happy about this early in the morning?" he asked, looking at his clock.   
  
Nagi laughed happily. "It's not early," he said. "It's almost noon. And I'm happy cause Omi loves me."  
  
A smile spread across Farf's face. "That's wonderful," he said. "I'm so happy for you. You told him everything?"  
  
Nagi nodded. "Yes, everything."  
  
Farf grinned again. "I told you he wouldn't hate you. You should have learned by now...I'm always right."  
  
Nagi laughed and flung himself at the Irishman, hugging him tightly. "Thanks, Farf," he whispered. "You've always been so nice to me. You don't know what that means to me."  
  
Farf smiled and patted Nagi's head. "Yeah, kid. I think I do."  
  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
  
Shuldich sighed as he sank onto the couch and closed his eyes. It was times like this that he wished he had a steady relationship. Nagi had told everyone about him and Omi, and the two boys were now busy talking about all their likes, dislikes, and basically getting to know each other. Farf was sharpening his knife collection and Brad had gone to a business dinner.   
  
Schu sighed again as he sat up and walked out onto the balcony. Right now he had never felt more alone. Everyone else knew what they wanted to do or had somebody who cared about them. Schu didn't. He had no one and didn't know what he wanted. Of all the members of Schwartz, Schuldich was having the most trouble adjusting his lifestyle. He had never known anything other than killing. Now that he didn't have that anymore he didn't know what do to.  
  
He was surprised to feel a tear fall on his hand. He couldn't remember the last time he had cried. It had been so long ago. He wiped the tears out of his eyes, but new tears kept falling. He finally just let them fall, unhindered.   
  
He didn't know why he was feeling so lonely and depressed. He should be happy. He had very good friends. Friends who were like the family he never had. He had a roof over his head, a job. What more could he ask for?  
  
There was only one thing he could think of that he wanted more than anything. He would give up his job, home, everything if he could have it, but he knew he didn't have a chance of getting it. All he wanted was someone to love. Someone who would love him back. Love him for who he was, not for what he pretended be.   
  
He was tired of wearing this mask to hide his emotions. He was tired of hiding how he really felt. He wanted to be able to show his true feelings. Wanted the others to understand what he was going through.   
  
He sighed once again and sank down to the ground. He had to get himself together. Had to put his mask back on before one of the others found him. But it was already to late. He turned his face away so that Farf wouldn't be able to see that he was crying.  
  
Farf took a step toward the German man. "Schuldich, are you all right?" he asked, worry audible in his voice.  
  
'Oh shit,' Schuldich thought. 'I can't let him see me like this.' "Yeah," he said, his voice quivering slightly. "I'm fine, Farf."  
  
He brought his hand up to brush away the fresh tears that threatened to fall but was surprised when Farf caught him by the wrist. He lowered himself to sit next the Schuldich, but didn't let go of Schu's hand. He held it tightly and stroked it softly, comfortingly.   
  
"It's okay to cry," he said softly. "And to show your emotions. You don't always have to keep them hidden, you know."  
  
Schuldich shook his head. "Yes I do," he said, his voice cracking slightly. "I do."  
  
He bowed his head, trying to hide his tears and brought his arm up to his face, stifling his sobs. He tried to suppress them, but to no avail. They just kept coming. His body shook violently with each sob. He wrapped his arms around himself and rocked back and forth.   
  
He cried out involuntarily as he felt himself being pulled into Farf's arms. Once surrounded by the Irishman's safe and comforting embrace, Schuldich felt the tears begin to ebb away. He buried his face in Farf's shoulder and wrapped his arms around his waist.  
  
The tears finally stopped, but Schuldich continued to cling to Farf. He didn't want to let go. He felt safe and secure in Farf's arms. If he left that comforting, safe place, he was afraid of what would happen. He was afraid that he would fall apart again. Or even worse, put his mask back on and he didn't want to do that. Not just now. He still had a lot of emotions he had to get out before he could put his mask back on. If he didn't get them all out now, when he had someone willing to listen to him, then he was afraid he wouldn't be able to keep his mask on...afraid it would break.  
  
He sighed. He knew he would have to leave the safety of Farf's arms. He began to pull away but Farf's grip remained firm.   
  
"Farf?" Schu said the name questioningly.   
  
The Irishman looked up at Schuldich. The setting sun created a halo of light around the German man. At that moment, Schuldich had never looked more beautiful. Farfarello smiled softly before leaning in and kissing Schuldich. For a minute Schuldich just stood there, to stunned to respond. Then he responded, kissing Farf back.  
  
It wasn't a long kiss. It was short and sweet. The two stood there looking at each other for a moment, then Schuldich broke the silence.  
  
He smiled slightly and spoke one simple word. "Why?" he asked.  
  
Farf shook his head. "Because I love you," he replied. "And I understand what you are going through."  
  
"You...you love me?  
  
Farf shook his head. "Yes, I do. Very much," he replied. " I know what it's like to not know what you're going to do with your life. All I've ever known is killing. Now that that's gone, what do I do now?"  
  
Schu nodded. "I know," he said. He looked up. "Farf?" he asked.  
  
"Yeah?"  
  
"What do we do now?"  
  
Farf shook his head. "I don't know," he said. "But I'll tell you what I'm gonna do," he continued as he moved closer to Schuldich.   
  
"What?" Schu asked.  
  
Farf grinned mischievously. "This," he said, as he grabbed Schuldich by the waist and pulled him in for another kiss.  
  
  
  
  
Author's Notes: Okay, what do you think. As always please review. RurouniGirl 


	8. The End

A/N- Okay, here's the next part. Hope you enjoyed the last chapter and I hope you like this next part.  
  
Unsure Feelings: Chapter 8  
  
By: RurouniGirl  
  
Schu woke up as his hair was blown into his face by a soft breeze. He smiled as he felt Farf's warm body lying next to him. He felt the Irishman shiver and wrapped his arms around him, pulling him closer.  
  
Farf smiled and "purred" contentedly. "I didn't know you were awake," he said, turning his head to look at Schuldich. The German smiled and nuzzled his face against Farf's neck.  
  
"Just woke up," he said, snuggling closer to. "Felt nice to wake up with someone next to me."  
  
Farf smiled and leaned down, kissing the German softly. "You won't be alone anymore," he whispered.  
  
The two of them lay there next to each other for a little while longer, before untangling themselves and heading inside. Everyone else was still sleeping and the whole apartment was completely silent. They settled down on the couch, Schu leaning back against Farf and Farf wrapping his arms around Schu. They both fell asleep smiling.  
  
That was how Nagi found them when he came out into the kitchen. He smiled to himself as he looked at the two men curled up on the sofa. 'It's about time they got together,' he thought as he got himself some breakfast and put the coffee on for Brad. All he could think as he went about his work was how cute they looked. (uber, ^_^ )  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
Aya tossed and turned restlessly as memories from his past haunted him in his dreams. He groaned softly, cold sweat running down his face and soaking his body.  
  
Ken sat on the edge of the bed and gently brushed the hair out of Aya's face. "Aya," he whispered. "Aya, wake up. It's okay. Come on, wake up."  
  
Aya stirred, opening his eyes and looking up at Ken. He smiled weakly and Ken gently stroked his cheek. "It's all right," he said. "You were having a nightmare. You want to talk about it?" he asked quietly.  
  
Aya shrugged and turned away from Ken so he wouldn't be able to see the fear and sadness in his eyes. "Memories from my past," he whispered in a choked voice. "The day my parents were killed and my sister was put in the hospital." He felt a tear snake its way down his cheek and brushed it away. He hated being like this; hated feeling so vulnerable. He just wanted to curl up and make all of it disappear. That's all he wanted.  
  
Ken hated to see Aya like this. It broke his heart every time he saw the redhead go through it. He lay down next to Aya and wrapped his arms around him, holding him firmly and whispering softly.  
  
"Aya, it's okay. It's done and over with. You're sister is all right." Aya said nothing as he continued to stare at the wall, his back to Ken. He heard Ken sigh and turned toward him. He was surprised by what he saw. Ken's eyes held a deep and were welling with tears that he refused to shed.  
  
He looked at Aya and brought his hand up to rest on his cheek. "It breaks my heart to see you like this," he said. "But it also hurts that you keep pushing me away. I know it's hard to change who you are, and believe me; I don't want you to change, but open up to me a little. I love you and I want you to be able to talk to me so that I can help. Just open up to me a little bit and let me in."  
  
Aya reached up and brushed away a tear that had managed to escape Ken's eyes. "I'm sorry," he said, snuggling up against Ken. "I didn't mean to hurt you or to push you away." He wrapped his arms tightly around ken, burying his face in Ken's chest and inhaling deeply. "You always smell so good," he said, smiling up at him.  
  
Ken grinned and ran his fingers through Aya's red hair. "I need a shower," he said, raising an eyebrow and chuckling. "I stink."  
  
Aya shrugged. "So, you still smell good."  
  
Ken laughed. "Whatever you say."  
  
Aya winked impishly and a mischievous smile appeared on his face. "You want some company in that shower?" (w00t! *grins*)  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
Schuldich stood and stretched his sore muscles. He smiled down at the Irishman still asleep on the couch and shook his head, laughing silently. 'He looks like an innocent child when he's sleeping,' he thought. 'Who would have guessed that at one point in time he had been completely psycho?' Schu smiled. But that was one of the things that he loved about him. Schu had had a "crush" on Farfarello since the first day they had met. He didn't know what it was about him, but something made him different than the others. Now he knew what it was. It was the fact that the two of them had so much in common and could relate to each other.  
  
He reached down and gently stroked one of the many scars visible on the Irishman's pale skin. 'God, he was beautiful.' His breath caught in his throat as he continued to stare down at him. "How do I deserve this?" he whispered to himself.  
  
"Because you're a special person who deserves some true happiness, just like everyone else," replied Nagi, who was standing in the kitchen. "Everyone deserves to be happy, and now it's your turn."  
  
Schuldich smiled, walking over to Nagi and ruffling his hair. "Thanks, kid. I needed that."  
  
Nagi grinned. "It's what I'm here for. You've always been there for me, now it's my turn to be there for you."  
  
"So, I guess everyone's happy now," said Schu. "You and Omi, Farf and I, Aya and Ken; we're all happy now."  
  
Nagi nodded. "Yes, all of us; except maybe Brad.and Yohji," he said, a twinkle in his eyes.  
  
Schuldich grinned down at him, chuckling. "Are you thinking what I'm thinking?" he asked, looking at Nagi and grinning.  
  
~The End~  
  
Author's Notes: Well, I finally finished this fic. Sorry it's kinda short. Thought it would be fun to end this chapter on a comedic note, LOL. Brad and Yohji: BEWARE! Mwhahahhahahahahahaaaa! Hope you enjoyed. Review. RurouniGirl 


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